Assalamualaikum and hi everyone,
Finally got the chance to ramble again. Continue from last episode, this was about what I had to do the thing that I dont even want to do it.
Recap from last episode where I got the heart breaking email regarding my graduation status, I was at my hometown celebrating the Eid Fitri with the family. As I said the semester already started and I don’t think I can make it to this semester. Addition to my family situation, things have not yet become clear and good. My issue will make things worse if not the worst. Since I was expected to graduate, I already apply some jobs and planning to go for several interviews. This make my heart ache.
I did went to several interview which I fail most of them haha During those time, I’m not sure how am I suppose to stated my education level. When I talked to my dad he insisted that the education won’t guarantee for the hereafter life. At this point he become completely different person. Long story short, he was very soft, caring, easy to talk to, up-to date and clean image. But he got sick 6 months earlier make him in bed rest for couple months. The thing about his sickness was that there is no scientific clue on what happen to him. He was put on medication of mostly pain killer without real medication because the doctor can’t figure out his decease. For some reason he got well after traditional treatment. Once he got better he became totally different person. Then I realize, I lost him. He was no longer the same person I know once.
When this happen, I asked myself thousands times ‘Why?’ ‘Why?’ Why?’… Why this happen to me? I had pretty much bad memories of growing up as long as I can remember. All these years I tried my best to put good face, enjoy my teen years and try my best to bring out myself from this. Each and every time I decided to walk out of this life that I hate the most, there must be something that hold me still. One thing that totally ruin everything that I strive to build on my own. Why cant He gave me a piece of peace for me to live my life? Why He always took the thing that matter most to me each time? 😦
Back to reality, my dad insisted not to send me back to complete my study. So I struggle to find a job. Scored nothing. I just able to do some part time job here and there. Good enough for me to buy my necessities and going out for drinks with a friend. After 6 months, he said ok. I can go. Excitedly I did everything all over again to finish up my semester… But unfortunately its not as I expected for it to be 😦 Again…
To be continue…